So, allegedly, honesty is the best policy. Actually, someone probably made that up just to make people feel bad about shopping on Amazon at 3 o’clock in the morning and then telling your significant other you have no idea why packages keep being delivered at your front door. For me, I always blame it on […]
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category
The SlimFast Chronicles
The other week, I was challenged by my manager to join her in doing the SlimFast diet. Now, any reasonable person probably would have revolted for several reasons. However, because I am neither reasonable, nor am I a person, I agreed to join her on the weight loss journey. I mean, what’s the worst that […]
Read the rest of this entry »Pickles and Pregnancies
The other day, I was minding my own business in the middle of Target. As usual, I was only there to pick up one or two items, but I ended up with a cart full of stuff. It’s really not my fault though. Once you find out that BiC has a line of gel pens […]
Read the rest of this entry »90 Day Fiancé
So, I was minding my own business at a comedy club the other day. No, I was not performing. Although I appreciate your faith in me, I’m just not at that level yet. Give me about 10 more years of performing for my fish in the comfort of my own dining room and then maybe […]
Read the rest of this entry »Piano for Dummies…or for Michaels
When I was just a little boy, you know, back in 1858, I had big dreams of what I would become when I grew up. I don’t remember ever wanting to be a teacher, or a doctor, or a bus driver. Instead, I wanted to be famous. I didn’t know how I would become famous, […]
Read the rest of this entry »And That’s When You Go Cry in Your Closet
So, during one of my recent daily appointments with my team of shrinks, one of them had some pretty interesting feedback for me. Of course, I don’t just take any random person’s opinion at face value—even if I’m paying them for it and they just so happen to have multiple degrees on the subject matter. […]
Read the rest of this entry »What Happens in Vegas, Is Right Here on My Blog
In case you missed my recent press releases or my surprise appearance on Dr. Phil last week, you are probably unaware that I just returned home from Las Vegas a few days ago. The trip was a real learning experience for me. Apparently, my mom had heard about all the drinking and sinning that allegedly […]
Read the rest of this entry »Filters and Fashion Nova Grandpas
OK, so the word is out. I’m officially 39. If you do the math, that means this time next year I’ll be 40. Wait…let me double check those numbers. Carry the 3. Add a 9. Subtract 5. Yup, 40. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. 40 may be coming for me faster than Michael […]
Read the rest of this entry »Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin and Magic Mike Birthday Wishes
As many of my two readers know, in a few weeks I will be having yet another birthday. This is disturbing for several reasons. First, I could’ve sworn I just had a birthday yesterday. Second, I’m inching closer and closer to learning what happens to people when they hit 40. Third, my metabolism is acting […]
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