Hypothetically Speaking . . .

. . . . . . . . Because Humor Matters

Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category

Apparently, I Get Around

You’ll never guess what I did the other day. No, I didn’t win the National Senior Citizen Wet T-shirt contest again, but I did come in second place. Personally, I think I was robbed. I was the only one who didn’t require being hosed down with a mixture of water and Ben Gay to get […]

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My Blog Be an Old Lady

Before I get into all the usual shenanigans that you’ve come to love and expect from me, I have an announcement: Four score and seven years ago (which after doing a ton of statistical research, I found out was really just the equivalent of three years—apparently Lincoln had a flare for the dramatic), on May […]

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It’s Raining Pink Slips

Life is funny. If someone had tapped me on the shoulder a week ago and told me that I’d soon be back out on the job market again, I probably would have called the cops and then pressed charges. I would have more quickly believed that I’d won the Mega Millions jackpot even though I […]

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You Know You’ve Had A Good Night When…

So, have you ever woke up in the bathroom of a strange home, in nothing but your boxer briefs, so that you could throw up in front of an unidentified and slightly judgmental dog? No? Me either. But let’s just pretend I did for a quick moment, shall we? But remember, this is all hypothetical […]

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State Of The Michael Address

A few weeks ago I went to the doctor for my annual oil change and engine tune-up. I’m never thrilled about those visits, but once you reach my age—32—your primary care physician becomes such a regular and important part of your life that it is totally possible that you may see him, her, or it […]

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Let’s Get Physical…Kind Of

Ok, so we’re five weeks into the new year and I’ve already betrayed all of my resolutions. For one, I’m eating like I’m 51 months pregnant. Just yesterday I went to both Popeye’s and Panda Express for dinner. Oh, and did I mention that I also went to Mrs. Fields for cookies afterward? And no, […]

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Goodbye 2011, Hello Chicken Wings

So, it’s 2012. A new beginning. It seems like it was just yesterday when I was sharing my resolutions for 2011 with you. Apparently, the older you get, the faster time flies. At my age, if you blink twice, you’re likely to miss the whole month of March. But I digress. A quick review of […]

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A Christmas Michael–I Mean Miracle

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. You know it’s the holiday season when random people hold doors open for you, let you merge on the interstate, or allow you to go in front of them when you’re standing in the check-out line shaking frantically with your legs crossed and a bottle of extra […]

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Halloween, Birthdays, And A Run For President

So, I was sitting there on Halloween, politely waiting for trick or treaters to show up at my door. I’d been waiting for over an hour. Now that I think about it, the fact that no kids showed up was probably my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have waited until after work on Halloween to stop […]

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Damn, Damn, Damn Near 40

Tomorrow I’ll officially be 32, which one of my aunts so lovingly describes as “being damn near 40.” Well, yes, I may have graduated from high school the same year that Betty White did, but I bet nobody would look her in the eye and tell her that she’s damn near 40. I don’t know […]

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