Hypothetically Speaking . . .

. . . . . . . . Because Humor Matters

Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category

Go Shorty, It’s Was My Birthday

As I sit here, a few days after my sixth time turning twenty-eight, I’m perplexed by several things. First, where has all the time gone? It’s not possible that I was entitled to yet another birthday so soon. I still haven’t quite recovered from the last one. You remember the details, right? Last year I […]

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If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle, Don’t Be Offensive

So, I was speaking to my mother on the phone the other day when I apparently overstepped our mother-son boundaries. This isn’t exactly shocking. When I was growing up, this happened all the time. Basically, anytime I had an opinion other than my mother’s, I was overstepping the boundaries. If I wanted pancakes when she […]

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And I Am Telling You, I’m Not Moving

One thing that I’ve learned over the years is that the best way to tackle any situation is to just be a man—or a woman, if that’s your thing—and address the situation head on. That noted, let’s go ahead and address the pink elephant in the room…err, on the blog. In case you were wondering, […]

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You Know You’re Old When …

Contrary to the 40 million blog posts I’ve done on the subject, I’m not one of those people who think about age a lot. Sure, the I’ve-fallen-and-I-can’t-get-up commercials seem more and more realistic with each passing day, and my back goes out more often than I do, but it’s not something I really worry about. […]

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It’s All In The Mouth

If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you enjoy receiving an unexpected compliment every now and then. At 33, I’m honored to still be asked to show my ID when I purchase alcohol milk at the liquor store. In fact, I practically leapt across the bar to hug a Hooters girl to death the other […]

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A Resolution Worth Keeping

So, we’re a few weeks into the new year, and I’ve already become a 2013 statistic. Yes, I’m one of those people who get super excited about making New Year’s resolutions, but then abandon them in a ditch on the side of the road around noon on January 2nd. 2013 was supposed to be the […]

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Confessions of a Fat Red-Light Runner

First of all, let me just go ahead and put it out there: The photo isn’t of me. I’ll admit that there are some similarities—especially around the eyes, but that picture is of Wilbur, my African Dwarf Frog, who I’ve mentioned a few times in the past. After watching the Victoria Secret fashion show the […]

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What Do You Mean I Look Sick?!?!?

In my opinion, there is nothing worse than being sick. Then again, now that I think about it, arriving at a Starbucks five minutes after it has closed for the day is pretty bad. Oh, and cold fries from McDonald’s certainly ranks up there on the list of horrible things too. And I guess I […]

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The One Where Michael Gets A Promotion

Ladies and gentlemen, I have big news. Super big. Bigger than Michael Phelps winning his 99th gold medal in synchronized pole vaulting in London. Bigger than Mariah Carey beating me out by two and a half votes to become the next judge on “American Idol.” And even bigger than that “Fifty Shades of Grey” book. […]

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I’ve Never Been So Slightly Offended!!!

So, the other day I’m sitting there, minding my own business, looking for something to watch on Netflix when I stumbled across a list of recommended movies and TV shows that were “popular with members like me.” Intrigued, I found myself scrolling through the suggestions to see what Netflix thought it had learned about me […]

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