Hypothetically Speaking . . .

Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category

Are Those Dad Jeans You’re Wearing?

The other day a coworker of mine pointed to my dungarees and yelled, “You’re wearing dad jeans!” Ashamed, I quickly scampered across the room and hid behind the photocopier. If people thought they were going to insult me, they would have to find me first. Also, they couldn’t judge what they couldn’t see. That noted, […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Birthdays, BMI and Blood Pressure

A wise man once said that age, weight, and blood pressure are just like rent and taxes: at a certain point, they just go up. Maybe it was me who said that. Maybe I’m the wise man. Hmmm. Anyway, I was minding my own business the other day when my birthday came to “kick in […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Fifty Shades Of Michael

If you’re anything like me, you’re in total disbelief that it is fall already. Where did the summer go? Where did the warm weather go? More importantly, where did the rest of my wine go? But I digress. Time seems to be flying faster than it used to. We wake up, go to work, come […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Just Call Me Michael, The Maintenance Man

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. What is Michael getting himself into now? Is he getting his own show on Bravo? Did he finally get that job changing oil at Jiffy Lube? Or, has he finally taking a dive into the fascinating world of male stripping? I can just hear it now. “Coming to the […]

Read the rest of this entry »

When You’ve Lost Your Carpet AND Your Drapes . . . or Spanx For Your Neck

If you ever want to know whether you’ve gotten old or not, the first test should be to turn on the radio. If you are surprised when you don’t immediately hear Barry Manilow, then you probably aren’t in the target age group for Forever 21. You’d probably fit in better at Maybe 45…or Kinda 62. […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Birthdays, Stumbles and the Military Diet

So, as you all learned from the incessant news coverage on CNN and the various SNL skits over the past few weeks, I recently had a birthday—yes, another one. At this point, I’m starting to believe that once you reach a certain age, your birthday just comes around whenever it wants to as opposed to […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Burritos In Bikinis

So, I woke up this morning and it was a like a million gazillion degrees outside. I’m not exactly sure how that happened. Of course, I’m being just a tad bit extreme. I mean, it’s not exactly a gazillion degrees outside. According to my weather app, it’s only 88 degrees, but that’s close enough. I’m […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Holidays and Birthdays

So, we’re in the midst of the holiday season and I’m floored by the fact that another year has flown by so swiftly. Weren’t we just celebrating the end of 2014? Geez. I haven’t even begun any of my 2015 New Year’s resolutions yet. Now I’m forced to squeeze in losing 20 pounds, going to […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Real Men Wear Tiaras

As I’m sure all of you know, I had a birthday recently. It was one of those major birthdays. One of the ones that makes you want to get all of your affairs in order, like wills and powers of attorney. No lie, I had to make at least eighteen calls to ensure that someone […]

Read the rest of this entry »

And The Oscar Went To…

It is with deep sadness and regret that I inform you that, even though my blog was nominated in six of the major categories for the 2014 Oscars, including best supporting fish in a documentary, my lack of posts since November put me in an inactive category, so the academy gave all the trophies to […]

Read the rest of this entry »