After years of putting it off while pretending to be financially responsible, I accidentally did what millions of my ancestors had done before me: I got an Apple Watch. Before you pass judgment, please know that I put years of thought into this purchase. I considered the pros and cons. I called my momma and […]
Read the rest of this entry »Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category
Sausage Wars
You know how you have one of those days when you’re in a sharing mood, but you probably should have phoned a friend for guidance before posting an allegedly controversial picture on the interweb? Well, I had one of those days recently. There I was, doing my civic duty and simply trying to uplift the […]
Read the rest of this entry »Moving Tip #1: Don’t Move!
For those of you who haven’t heard my faint cries for help from afar over the past few months, I recently moved. Now, I’ve never been one to be overly dramatic, but I’m here to tell you I’m never moving again. Even if World War 22, The Battle of Walmart vs Target, broke out right […]
Read the rest of this entry »I Got Pots Y’all
These past few weeks of social distancing have really gotten me to look at things in my apartment differently. I’ve found the desire to do stuff I’ve never considered before. After living here for five years, I found myself in the kitchen one evening learning that the square thingy my Keurig sits on has been […]
Read the rest of this entry »In Defense of My Home Phone
Somehow, I recently found myself the target of some online criticism and ridicule from friends, family, and countrymen. This isn’t exactly out of the norm for me. After all, I do have a day job, so there isn’t much I haven’t heard or been called. As a matter of fact, there was that one day […]
Read the rest of this entry »A Virus Among Us
If you know anything about me, then you know I am always completely reasonable and rational. I’m so even-tempered that I was voted “most level-headed??? when I graduated from kindergarten. While other kids were playing with blocks or other silly things, I was doing advanced toddler yoga over by the swings. Yes, if anything, I […]
Read the rest of this entry »The Master Cleanse
I recently got the bright idea to try the Master Cleanse. I’m not exactly sure why I made this decision, but maybe it was because my laptop camera got tired of trying to fit my whole face into the frame during facial recognition. It began to “suggest??? all types of advertisements for various diets. At […]
Read the rest of this entry »Kiss the Girls . . . and Expectant Mothers
You may know this about me already, but sometimes I find myself in awkward situations. I’m not sure why this happens. Perhaps it’s because of my upbringing. Maybe Mercury is in a retro arcade. Perhaps it’s because of my zodiac sign, but even that’s awkward because my mother could not decide which sign was best, […]
Read the rest of this entry »Happy Holidays . . . Well, Sort Of
Like most people, every holiday season I somehow find myself running up and down the aisles of various retail stores looking to buy a variety of gifts. Regardless of past experience, I consistently use bad judgment and sign up for whatever Secret Santa or White Elephant Gift Exchange that I stumble across. Last year, because […]
Read the rest of this entry »Black Friday, Red Saturday, Death Monday
Like most people, every Black Friday I’m forced to make major life decisions. I scrounge through the sales ads and ponder whether I should pay my rent or throw caution to the wind and get a Nintendo Switch and the new Apple Watch I’ve always wanted. Some may argue that these items aren’t necessities, but […]
Read the rest of this entry »
