Hypothetically Speaking . . .

Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category

Just Call Me Michael, The Maintenance Man

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. What is Michael getting himself into now? Is he getting his own show on Bravo? Did he finally get that job changing oil at Jiffy Lube? Or, has he finally taking a dive into the fascinating world of male stripping? I can just hear it now. “Coming to the […]

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When You’ve Lost Your Carpet AND Your Drapes . . . or Spanx For Your Neck

If you ever want to know whether you’ve gotten old or not, the first test should be to turn on the radio. If you are surprised when you don’t immediately hear Barry Manilow, then you probably aren’t in the target age group for Forever 21. You’d probably fit in better at Maybe 45…or Kinda 62. […]

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Birthdays, Stumbles and the Military Diet

So, as you all learned from the incessant news coverage on CNN and the various SNL skits over the past few weeks, I recently had a birthday—yes, another one. At this point, I’m starting to believe that once you reach a certain age, your birthday just comes around whenever it wants to as opposed to […]

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Burritos In Bikinis

So, I woke up this morning and it was a like a million gazillion degrees outside. I’m not exactly sure how that happened. Of course, I’m being just a tad bit extreme. I mean, it’s not exactly a gazillion degrees outside. According to my weather app, it’s only 88 degrees, but that’s close enough. I’m […]

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Holidays and Birthdays

So, we’re in the midst of the holiday season and I’m floored by the fact that another year has flown by so swiftly. Weren’t we just celebrating the end of 2014? Geez. I haven’t even begun any of my 2015 New Year’s resolutions yet. Now I’m forced to squeeze in losing 20 pounds, going to […]

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Real Men Wear Tiaras

As I’m sure all of you know, I had a birthday recently. It was one of those major birthdays. One of the ones that makes you want to get all of your affairs in order, like wills and powers of attorney. No lie, I had to make at least eighteen calls to ensure that someone […]

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And The Oscar Went To…

It is with deep sadness and regret that I inform you that, even though my blog was nominated in six of the major categories for the 2014 Oscars, including best supporting fish in a documentary, my lack of posts since November put me in an inactive category, so the academy gave all the trophies to […]

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Lions, Ferrets and Cheeks on a Treadmill

So, I was walking through the park the other day, trying to clear my mind, when the oddest idea came to me. For some reason, I wanted to run. Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was the music I was listening to. Or, maybe it was the offer I’d received to serve as the […]

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Go Shorty, It’s Was My Birthday

As I sit here, a few days after my sixth time turning twenty-eight, I’m perplexed by several things. First, where has all the time gone? It’s not possible that I was entitled to yet another birthday so soon. I still haven’t quite recovered from the last one. You remember the details, right? Last year I […]

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If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle, Don’t Be Offensive

So, I was speaking to my mother on the phone the other day when I apparently overstepped our mother-son boundaries. This isn’t exactly shocking. When I was growing up, this happened all the time. Basically, anytime I had an opinion other than my mother’s, I was overstepping the boundaries. If I wanted pancakes when she […]

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