Hypothetically Speaking . . .

. . . . . . . . Because Humor Matters

Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category

Moving Tip #1: Don’t Move!

For those of you who haven’t heard my faint cries for help from afar over the past few months, I recently moved. Now, I’ve never been one to be overly dramatic, but I’m here to tell you I’m never moving again. Even if World War 22, The Battle of Walmart vs Target, broke out right […]

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I Got Pots Y’all

These past few weeks of social distancing have really gotten me to look at things in my apartment differently. I’ve found the desire to do stuff I’ve never considered before. After living here for five years, I found myself in the kitchen one evening learning that the square thingy my Keurig sits on has been […]

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In Defense of My Home Phone

Somehow, I recently found myself the target of some online criticism and ridicule from friends, family, and countrymen. This isn’t exactly out of the norm for me. After all, I do have a day job, so there isn’t much I haven’t heard or been called. As a matter of fact, there was that one day […]

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A Virus Among Us

If you know anything about me, then you know I am always completely reasonable and rational. I’m so even-tempered that I was voted “most level-headed” when I graduated from kindergarten. While other kids were playing with blocks or other silly things, I was doing advanced toddler yoga over by the swings. Yes, if anything, I […]

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The Master Cleanse

I recently got the bright idea to try the Master Cleanse. I’m not exactly sure why I made this decision, but maybe it was because my laptop camera got tired of trying to fit my whole face into the frame during facial recognition. It began to “suggest” all types of advertisements for various diets. At […]

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Kiss the Girls . . . and Expectant Mothers

You may know this about me already, but sometimes I find myself in awkward situations. I’m not sure why this happens. Perhaps it’s because of my upbringing. Maybe Mercury is in a retro arcade. Perhaps it’s because of my zodiac sign, but even that’s awkward because my mother could not decide which sign was best, […]

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Happy Holidays . . . Well, Sort Of

Like most people, every holiday season I somehow find myself running up and down the aisles of various retail stores looking to buy a variety of gifts. Regardless of past experience, I consistently use bad judgment and sign up for whatever Secret Santa or White Elephant Gift Exchange that I stumble across. Last year, because […]

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Black Friday, Red Saturday, Death Monday

Like most people, every Black Friday I’m forced to make major life decisions. I scrounge through the sales ads and ponder whether I should pay my rent or throw caution to the wind and get a Nintendo Switch and the new Apple Watch I’ve always wanted. Some may argue that these items aren’t necessities, but […]

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And Sometimes the Crap Hits More Than Just the Fan

A wise person once said, “Never have drinks with coworkers.” Because I have problems with authority, I usually don’t listen to wise people. Instead, I drink with as many coworkers as possible. Sometimes we take our first round of shots as early as 8 AM to start our day on the right note. That noted, […]

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You Know You’re Old When…

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not one to harp on things. As a matter of fact, I barely bring things up. I don’t even mention them. I’m better than that. Besides, the assortment of medications my team of shrinks provides me definitely helps with quieting my authentic self and allowing the truly […]

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