Hypothetically Speaking . . .

. . . . . . . . Because Humor Matters

Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category

Confessions Of A Judgmental Apple Watch

After years of putting it off while pretending to be financially responsible, I accidentally did what millions of my ancestors had done before me: I got an Apple Watch. Before you pass judgment, please know that I put years of thought into this purchase. I considered the pros and cons. I called my momma and […]

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Sausage Wars

You know how you have one of those days when youíre in a sharing mood, but you probably should have phoned a friend for guidance before posting an allegedly controversial picture on the interweb? Well, I had one of those days recently. There I was, doing my civic duty and simply trying to uplift the […]

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Moving Tip #1: Donít Move!

For those of you who havenít heard my faint cries for help from afar over the past few months, I recently moved. Now, Iíve never been one to be overly dramatic, but Iím here to tell you Iím never moving again. Even if World War 22, The Battle of Walmart vs Target, broke out right […]

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I Got Pots Yíall

These past few weeks of social distancing have really gotten me to look at things in my apartment differently. Iíve found the desire to do stuff Iíve never considered before. After living here for five years, I found myself in the kitchen one evening learning that the square thingy my Keurig sits on has been […]

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In Defense of My Home Phone

Somehow, I recently found myself the target of some online criticism and ridicule from friends, family, and countrymen. This isnít exactly out of the norm for me. After all, I do have a day job, so there isnít much I havenít heard or been called. As a matter of fact, there was that one day […]

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A Virus Among Us

If you know anything about me, then you know I am always completely reasonable and rational. Iím so even-tempered that I was voted ďmost level-headed??? when I graduated from kindergarten. While other kids were playing with blocks or other silly things, I was doing advanced toddler yoga over by the swings. Yes, if anything, I […]

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The Master Cleanse

I recently got the bright idea to try the Master Cleanse. Iím not exactly sure why I made this decision, but maybe it was because my laptop camera got tired of trying to fit my whole face into the frame during facial recognition. It began to ďsuggest??? all types of advertisements for various diets. At […]

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Kiss the Girls . . . and Expectant Mothers

You may know this about me already, but sometimes I find myself in awkward situations. Iím not sure why this happens. Perhaps itís because of my upbringing. Maybe Mercury is in a retro arcade. Perhaps itís because of my zodiac sign, but even thatís awkward because my mother could not decide which sign was best, […]

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Happy Holidays . . . Well, Sort Of

Like most people, every holiday season I somehow find myself running up and down the aisles of various retail stores looking to buy a variety of gifts. Regardless of past experience, I consistently use bad judgment and sign up for whatever Secret Santa or White Elephant Gift Exchange that I stumble across. Last year, because […]

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Black Friday, Red Saturday, Death Monday

Like most people, every Black Friday Iím forced to make major life decisions. I scrounge through the sales ads and ponder whether I should pay my rent or throw caution to the wind and get a Nintendo Switch and the new Apple Watch Iíve always wanted. Some may argue that these items arenít necessities, but […]

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