Hypothetically Speaking . . .

. . . . . . . . Because Humor Matters

Archive for the 'Humor Blog' Category

Shattered Resolutions and Broken Dreams

This time last year, some madman was running around my apartment doing push-ups and jumping jacks, insistent that he was going to get his life right and tackle the world in 2017. Yes, that madman was me. But now that Iím barely clawing my way across the 2017 finish line with my life support machine […]

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A Very Michael Holiday Movie

I have a slight confession. I have been watching nothing but holiday movies for the past few weeks. I think the Hallmark channel has me under some sort of spell or something. It is either that or Comcast has downgraded my cable package to where I only have one channel, which I would completely understand […]

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He Dances with the Fishes

OK, the news and TMZ reports are true. I have recently been dealing with some family issues. Perhaps I use the term ďfamily??? a tad bit too loosely. By family I mean my fish. Maybe fishly is the more appropriate term. I realize that is not exactly a word. However, if we agree to start […]

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Are Those Dad Jeans Youíre Wearing?

The other day a coworker of mine pointed to my dungarees and yelled, ďYouíre wearing dad jeans!??? Ashamed, I quickly scampered across the room and hid behind the photocopier. If people thought they were going to insult me, they would have to find me first. Also, they couldnít judge what they couldnít see. That noted, […]

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Birthdays, BMI and Blood Pressure

A wise man once said that age, weight, and blood pressure are just like rent and taxes: at a certain point, they just go up. Maybe it was me who said that. Maybe Iím the wise man. Hmmm. Anyway, I was minding my own business the other day when my birthday came to ďkick in […]

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Fifty Shades Of Michael

If youíre anything like me, youíre in total disbelief that it is fall already. Where did the summer go? Where did the warm weather go? More importantly, where did the rest of my wine go? But I digress. Time seems to be flying faster than it used to. We wake up, go to work, come […]

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Just Call Me Michael, The Maintenance Man

Ok, I know what youíre thinking. What is Michael getting himself into now? Is he getting his own show on Bravo? Did he finally get that job changing oil at Jiffy Lube? Or, has he finally taking a dive into the fascinating world of male stripping? I can just hear it now. ďComing to the […]

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When Youíve Lost Your Carpet AND Your Drapes . . . or Spanx For Your Neck

If you ever want to know whether youíve gotten old or not, the first test should be to turn on the radio. If you are surprised when you donít immediately hear Barry Manilow, then you probably arenít in the target age group for Forever 21. Youíd probably fit in better at Maybe 45Öor Kinda 62. […]

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Birthdays, Stumbles and the Military Diet

So, as you all learned from the incessant news coverage on CNN and the various SNL skits over the past few weeks, I recently had a birthdayóyes, another one. At this point, Iím starting to believe that once you reach a certain age, your birthday just comes around whenever it wants to as opposed to […]

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Burritos In Bikinis

So, I woke up this morning and it was a like a million gazillion degrees outside. Iím not exactly sure how that happened. Of course, Iím being just a tad bit extreme. I mean, itís not exactly a gazillion degrees outside. According to my weather app, itís only 88 degrees, but thatís close enough. Iím […]

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