Ten years ago I purchased a bed. Last week, I put it together. Wait, before you start judging, let me explain. At 19, one really doesn?t get the whole logic and theory behind the need to connect the headboard to the bed frame. At 29, however, something just kicks in and makes you want to tackle all these little challenges that you just lived with before. No lie, this year I?ve done things I?ve wanted to do all my life. I dusted my lamps. I changed the vacuum bag. I killed a spider without calling my mom OR dad to come over as backup and encouragement. Nope, I tackled this challenge on my own. Last but not least, I learned that everyone in the world isn?t Black by simply cleaning off my TV. Imagine my surprise to learn that Barbara Walters AND Madonna are White. No, really, they are. You can?t argue me down about this one. Maybe you should clean your TV screen too.<\/p>\n
Ok, so let me be honest with you. The real reason I connected the headboard to the bed frame was not because I?d finally gotten to that item on my to-do list after 10 years. Instead, I?d finally gotten tired of my old bed frame clanking every time I made a move for the remote or got up to go to the bathroom. After years of having my neighbors think that I?m a tad bit more ?active??? then I really am at 2 in the morning, I decided to upgrade before I was voted off the island by the rental office and labeled with offensive names that I wouldn?t dare say in public or in this blog. Imagine explaining to your neighbors that you really aren?t a (insert appropriate word here), and that you just have an over active bladder. All this time I thought their sneers were because I had my own blog, not because they thought I was a ?man of the night.???<\/p>\n
Anyway, I purchased the bed frame from Value City Furniture?an experience all in itself?and decided to stop at Lowe?s to get screws and stuff to attach the headboard because I was told that there weren?t any in the box. Now, I don?t know if you?ve ever been to Lowe?s, Home Depot, or any other store of that nature, but, for one, they are huge. You could be lost in there for two months before a search team would find you. And two, there are sharp things everywhere that could injure a clumsy person like me. I can see the headlines now: Young male gets arm caught in key making machine before being strangled by a set of mini blinds. More news on this breaking story at 10.<\/p>\n
So, I ask the lady at the door where the screws are, and she says, ?Over in hardware.??? I say, ?Isn?t the whole store hardware???? I thought it was funny, but apparently having a sense of humor IS NOT a requirement for working at Lowe?s. I eventually leave the store with 16 screws, 8 washers, and 8 nuts?not including the two I?wait a second?my mom might be reading this?so 8 nuts. As luck would have it, when I got home and opened the bed frame box, guess what I found: screws and nuts. Trip to Lowe?s wasted. Thank you Value City Furniture employees for being so well informed about the products you sell. And if there are any readers of this blog who are employees of VCF, of course, I don?t mean you. You?re wonderful. Keep up the great work!!!<\/p>\n
Anyway, with all the bed frame pieces laid out in front of me, I immediately got to work. I followed the instructions step-by-step and had the frame together within a matter of minutes. Next, I opened the pack of screws and saw that the tops of each were rounded and there were no holes for me to use one of my handy-dandy screwdrivers. I was so disappointed because I never get to use my screwdrivers and I?d really like to get my dollar?s worth. But, ?No problem,??? I said to myself. ?Let?s assess the situation. What would Barrack do???? I reached for my hammer to bang the screws into my wooden headboard. Despite my best efforts, the screws refused to work with me. I then grabbed a pair of pliers, and that?s when the magic happened.<\/p>\n
Forty-five minutes later, I had three blisters and one screw completed. 3 ? hours later, my whole hand was one big blister and all of the screws were in place. I was so proud of myself for starting a project and seeing it through. I wasn?t even worried that my hand needed to be amputated because of all the manual labor. Instead, I just ignored the throbbing and patted myself on the back because I was a big strong man with tools and everything. My biological father would have been so proud?even more proud than that time when I was 28 and I finally learned the difference between golf and basketball. Imagine my shock when I learned that Tiger Woods didn?t play for the Clippers. You learn something new every day.<\/p>\n
The point of all this, and I do have one, is that we, as individuals, can do anything we set our minds to. If Oprah can be the most powerful sorceror in the world, and Barrack can be president, why can?t I put my bed frame together? After that accomplishment, the sky is truly the limit. Now, I finally believe that all things are possible. I can?t even begin to explain how good this realization feels. The only thing to do now is set another big goal for myself. Hmm?maybe I?ll vacuum.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ten years ago I purchased a bed. Last week, I put it together. Wait, before you start judging, let me explain. At 19, one really doesn?t get the whole logic and theory behind the need to connect the headboard to the bed frame. At 29, however, something just kicks in and makes you want to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[47],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n