Hypothetically Speaking . . .

. . . . . . . . Because Humor Matters

Archive for the 'Humor Column' Category

Well Slap Me And Call Me A Cardigan

I can’t be 100% sure, but I think I may be going through the change. Not just any change, but the change of life. Yes, that change. I know what you’re saying, “Michael, you’re just 31. You’re too young to go through the change. You haven’t even gotten your first gray hair yet. You’ve got […]

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Deodorant May Not Be A Necessity, But Starbucks Is

If it hasn’t been said before, let me be the first to say that I’m starting to believe that Starbucks is a cult. Not one of those bad cults where people meet in the middle of the woods and call themselves weird names while chanting, but the kind of cult that you can participate in […]

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A Baby Would Go Good By The Fireplace

Now that I’ve answered my calling as a philosopher, I’ve decided to make some slight changes in my day-to-day life. Since the information regarding my newly recognized gift could leak to the press at any moment, it’s probably in my best interest to keep a low profile. Because of this, I’ve started wearing big floppy […]

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Grandma, Will You Love Me Flab And All

I’ve been feeling very philosophical lately. It’s weird. It’s like all of a sudden I’ve finally realized my calling, and it’s not just to be the most successful blogger/novelist/fried-Cheerios maker ever. Instead, maybe I’m supposed to use my voice and writing capabilities to impart wisdom to the masses—or at least to my blog readers. The […]

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The Real Me (We R Who We R)

After much thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that I must have multiple personalities. Although my team of therapists have not yet confirmed or denied whether they agree with my theory or not, that would be the only logical explanation as to why one minute I aspire to take over the world, and the next […]

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Never Give Up On Your Stupid, Stupid Dreams

I don’t know about you, but I’m certainly glad the holiday season is behind us. One of the main issues I have with that time of year, other than the way my money seems to fly out of my wallet without regard to my rent or cable bill, is that the holidays really test your […]

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How I Flunked The GMAT

As an adult you learn to take responsibility when you make a mistake or fall short of expectations. Allegedly, it makes you a bigger person to take ownership, learn from your shortcomings, and simply move on. If you let it, failure can be just a pit stop toward eventual success. After all, Thomas Edison failed […]

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When Chicken Is Your Last Name …

It’s hard to believe that it’s mid-December already. It seems like it was just yesterday when we were ringing in 2010. Now, if you sneeze twice and yell Bloody Mary, it’ll be 2011. Like most, I’m in the process of establishing new year resolutions. Reappearing on the list for the millionth time will be the […]

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Hey, You Can Always Just Drop Out

Ok, so it’s been a while since I’ve done an update. Of course, this is after I promised that I’d post an update every two weeks. Well, what had happened was, my pursuit of an MBA degree kind of took over my life. I had so much homework and research to do that one would […]

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Pop-Tarts, And That’s My Final Answer

Have you ever been right smack in the middle of a tough situation and realized that it could have totally been avoided had you just taken a few moments to think things through before diving head first into it? Well, this was the case the other day when I found myself wearing a Baltimore Raven’s […]

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